What Do You Seek?

It is no longer news that marriages are failing at alarming rates and much worse, marriages of ‘Christians’ are hitting the rocks so fast. It is easier to take a stand and make pronouncements on these marriages from outside of hem, but being married and remaining married is not an easy thing to do.

There is a rising demand for something new from young people these days, their dreams and desires are reshaping expectations towards marriages. I have heard from many who don’t even want marriage anymore because of bad stories and examples they have heard and seen…Still, marriage is not man’s creation, it is God’s! Only God can prescribe how best it should be operated.

Most young folks are making this lifetime decision of marriage with OPTIONS…’leaving the union’ is an item on the table, should the thing gets got. Will you blame them? Perhaps not. However, MARRIAGE, as designed by God, is completely different from PARTNERSHIP.

Alarmingly, what most young people are seeking is a partnership to fulfill their life goals and dreams, not a union to fulfill God’s objectives on the earth. Even, most of those who believe they are after God’s objectives are guilty of the same predicament – in their supposed God’s objectives, the man has his own goals separate from the woman’s goals. So, they are still partnering instead of operating in God’s grand design.

What is this God’s design?

It is a man, who lives in God’s presence, receiving a piece of God’s kingdom agenda to execute; and he receives the help in a Woman, meet for him, to fulfill it. So, instruction flows from God to the man, then from him to his wife, and then they become institutionalised in the family they raise. The Woman takes these commands from God, through the man and nurtures the children accordingly. These are the Godly offspring that God desires, who are the heritage of the LORD and God’s reward from the marriage.

Now, please take a second to look at your marriage or the one you are looking towards beginning, is it a marriage or a partnership?

In a partnership, you will be disappointed in each other, somewhere along the line…it is inevitable! But in a marriage, you are striding together, answering to God’s agenda, every disappointment is external, not in each other. Whatever the disappointments are, they are things to pray to God about until victory comes.

When we do REAL marriages, all the struggles we see today will dissolve naturally. We will serve each other, knowing that God is in the center of it all; His purpose being the central objective.


Rev. Kehinde Bamigbade writes in response:

Let the man be rooted in God and be determined to do His will. Then, he asks God for the Help Meet with whom to carry out the objectives of God. Certainly, God will make that provision. However, the so called ‘Help Meet’ may not seem to look it initially. Let the man not mix personal standard with God’s. This is where the man has to be careful and clarify issues with God. In Acts 10, Apostle Peter never wanted to relate with a Gentile. He took this decision because he always wanted to do God’s will. God insisted he should go. Eventually, the Gentile turned out to be a channel of kingdom expansion. If is God, it is possible and bear lasting fruits.

Should I then go to an unbeliever or just anybody? No! Let God guide your search from within the fold. The prerequisite is for the person to have sincerely given himself or herself to God through Jesus Christ. The Spiritual maturity may not have reached a particular level one expects. In fact, that itself may be a personal standard.

If there are those who desire just partnership, search more with the eyes of God, you will get the ‘God-sent’.