One interesting thing I have come to realise is that responses when people do not get what they want may range from silent hurts to violent vendetta. Still, what is the price of a broken heart?
I’ll begin this with the difference between hope and promise.
HOPE is an expectation; not necessarily initiated by anyone in particular. It stems from a personal dream, desire or love for something or someone. It is not promised; still, having it is not a bad idea.
On the other hand, PROMISE is an expectation that is triggered by someone’s words. It may be desired or not, but it is promised. The person promising had given his or her words in committment to it; a failure to keep such words is not pleasant, at all.
Now when hope or promise is broken, responses that follow are best reviewed in light of the definition of what was. Was it a hope or a promise? In my life’s journey, I have seen all sorts of responses when people don’t get what they hoped for or things they were promised.
If they were hoped for, it suggests that the decision was singular. It has not consulted those with power to deliver on it and received a consent that translates it into a promise. It is merely an expectation that may or may not be met. When broken, there is not moral justification to be hurt or to be in pursuit of vendetta. It was never promised, it is not a valid claim.
When promised, the committment from the person(s) with the power to deliver on it is binding. If the promise is broken, it is not out of place to seek retribution. A broken promise is a debt; one way or another, it must be paid.
Therefore, if you hope for something or someone, don’t be disappointed if you don’t get what you hoped for, the power to make it happen is not within your control. Keep faith, search diligently next time before reposing confidence in someone or something from which you have no promise. If you are denied what you are promised, seeking retribution or forgiving the debt are within your powers; I recommend the latter because the cost of the former will dig deep into your scarce resources of time, money and people.
By the way, people who play safe will stick to ‘promises’ alone. They will force a promise out of people before plunging, if they have to. However, thrills of life are in the uncertainties of hope, you never know what you may find/learn while hoping. If eventually, that hope is broken, what may be gained may be of more value to you and others than what was originally hoped for.
Those who are reckless will hope away aimlessly until they have lost all, chasing shadows. However, stability in life is rested on sure promises – being able to make future-relevant decisions based on dependable promises of today. When eventually, such promise is broken, there is the option of a sweet retribution occasioned by the laws that govern promises. You can seek damages too.
If you ask me, I will say, dream, desire and love in HOPE…also, receive PROMISES that are certain as well. Both are like the two sides of a coin or the two edges of a sword. Fulfillment and rich experiences come from a balanced mix of both.
Peace to you.