So, I am very fond of having random conversations with people. During these conversations, many edifying insights are formed in my heart. After any conversation, it becomes the centerpiece of my contemplations; I would begin to investigate the new knowledge [content] that I have found in different contexts to see what I would come up with. For me, this is what I call ‘The Search for Understanding.’
From some of this kind of contemplations, here are some of my understandings:
Trust is no longer enough!
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend on people and their responses to work, especially after they have received payment before doing the work. We talked about the absence of integrity and willingness to keep to the terms of the work. We all want to believe that everyone would be fair and upright; that everyone and everything would become perfect and dependable. Unfortunately, these are possible but not everyone and everything would be. Therefore, to blindly trust everyone and to put confidence in everything is like a death sentence. People’s words are no longer enough, even when we share the same faith and fate. Somewhere along the line, you will have to develop structures to protect your hearts and health; authorized written words [legal agreements] may become more valuable than mere word-of-mouth. People change as often as their feelings change.
Family is familiar
Do not be alarmed when the people you have spent most parts of your life with do not seem to know you; when in real situations of life, they seem to have developed amnesia of who you are. Do not be discouraged when those you have been with all your life do not know what you are capable of doing; when they are shocked that you pulled off certain commendable feats, hide your disappointment. People only pay attention to whoever or whatever is of benefit to them; there is no commitment to you if you are not an addition to them in ways they fancy. Here is the catch – should you then morph to everyone’s fantasy so that you can have his or her attention? Well, those who eventually got people’s attention didn’t do so by shifting in forms as often as necessary; they do so by focusing on being who they are persuaded they should be and the world eventually came around to them.
Resources and Reputation
When these two are not together and a person has to choose between them, the person’s character will be revealed by his or her choices. The desperate will favor resources above reputation; the honorable will favor reputation above resources.
When the two are together, much good will become evident and the community will know peace and progress.
When these two are absent, the character is tried by terrible constrains; choices will be simply reduced to good and evil. In the absence of financial power and the loss of reputation that could be of value in the absence of finances, it becomes natural to either suffer the consequences of choosing justice and falling from exalted status or be soiled by injustice and maintain status through compromise.
Until anyone is tried by strain in either or both of resources and reputation, you really do not know who he or she is and what he or she would become.
You can also try conversations with people to understand them and to understand life better. It may be fun to have conversations with others to vent your views, but it is more rewarding to turn every encounter into learning experience experiences. Your world will do better with more understanding.