A few days ago, I went to the local market and stopped at a stall to buy Ginger and Garlic (it has become a necessary drink, since the beginning of COVID pandemic). The woman selling these roots, seeing that I have made my purchase already asked that I should add Tumeric roots as well; according to her, it is also helpful and good.
My response to her was simple: “It is a lot of work peeling these things Madam, I had to do so much work preparing the last batch,” I said. She answered and said: “Ha! You do not have to do that! Just wash everything clean and blend them together. All the parts of these roots are medicinal.” I was not exactly down with the idea of blending them together, but it dawned on me that skinning the root, to get only what is desirable for me, would remain a lot of task, with reduced benefits in the long run.
Just like in this situation, it seems this is the practical description of our responses to life as a people. In relationships, we desire some part of people but we are resistant to other parts of them; getting rid of the part we don’t like remains a lot of work. People in search of spouses wants virtues and valour from their spouses but they do not want their vision [they have their own dreams and aspirations]. People in search of profitable partnerships want the assets from their partners but stays away from their liabilities…
Indeed, life is a mix of these things. Any relationship that is skewed to the good side, not accepting the not-too-good side is doomed to fail, no matter how promising it is. It is an abberation to take one and leave out the other.
If your desire is to be genuine and your interests are to be true, the proof would be your willingness to accept both sides in the people you relate with. This does not mean agreement with both sides but an acceptance that makes the response to the not-too-good side a show of mercy and grace, a readiness to walk the process with the concerned, towards the refinement of such life, until that part is adjusted for good.
Love is demonstrated in who and what is given, not what is received. May we find grace to continue to give ourselves and of ourselves until lives are convinced that God’s love is real and capable of changing lives and situations for good.
In loving the valour and virtues in people, love their vision too. The vision is what necessitated the valour and the virtues you see and fell in love with; they do not spring into reality of their own accord.